Broken

Last week, while the kids had swimming lessons, I talked with the mother of another child. The mother asked if we home schooled. Her question led to a discussion of home schooling. I admit that I was feeling a bit defensive, so I fired off several comments designed to wow her socks off. It almost seemed that as I talked, her eyes widened visibly. At one point in the conversation, she said, "Do you have more hours in the day than I have?"

Later, as I thought about our exchange, I thought how I would answer that mother or anyone who asked me why I choose to take the responsibility of teaching my children at home, when it would be far simpler to send them to school for free for eight hours each day. I think that the correct answer to that question should be that I have been redeemed by Christ to serve Christ. The areas of service that I have been called to and equipped in are those of being a wife and a mother. Home schooling happens to be one way that God has given me to spend my life for others. But just like most people, I am tempted to hold on to my life, my desires, my needs; I am tempted by the lies spoken around me that I have to protect my time, my interests, myself, or no one will. I must actively reject the lies and remember that the One who poured out His life for me asks the same in return. I am the friend of Christ in so much that I am willing to pour my life out for Him in service to my family. He will provide for me and someday, if I faithfully complete my task, my children and husband may have reason to rejoice in my service to them. Then, my reward will be greater than the enjoyment promised by seeking my own way and interest now. In a way, isn't that what Moses did when he rejected the opportunity to stay in the palace of Pharaoh, and instead went into the wilderness. He later reaped the rewards of following God when following God didn't make sense. I am thankful for the reminder.

And so, I am thankful that I had the opportunity to discuss home schooling with that mother; not for her sake, but for mine.

Ripples

"Broken, hun?" My three-year-old asks about her apple slices at the lunch table. Having cut the apples myself, I know that they are indeed "broken," but I go along and answer, "No." She is thrilled that she is able to trick Mom, and I think back to the silly trick that inadvertently started our now-popular dinner game. I'm sure that our friend doesn't remember holding up a cut apple and saying those words, but my children haven't forgotten the thrill of tricking their table mates about the wholeness of their fruits and vegetables.

As my daughter relished tricking me, I thought about how often the things that we do without thinking have lasting effects. Then I thought about the letter that I received this week informing me of the death of a friend and former professor. I can't hang a picture without remembering her beautiful apartment. I owe the title of this blog and my love of English Romantic poetry, well any poetry really, to her unique and passionate teaching. I keep attempting to enjoy the works of Joseph Conrad, because he was her favorite. Needless to say, her personality contributed to the tone of my own teaching and therefore to the lives of my children and students. The way that she lived and the person that she was changed me.

As a child, we had a huge mud puddle that we played in at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I remember throwing rocks in and watching the ripples spread out across the surface of the water. Just as my teacher influenced me and that friend influenced my children, my life is creating ripples that affect the lives of those I spend time with. Lord, I pray that my life will draw my children and others into a deeper understanding of and relationship with You. Please make me a woman of grace, who speaks joy and love into the hearts of those around me.

Time to try Conrad. . . Again!