Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Sorrows come. . .

"Sorrows come To stretch out spaces in the heart for joy."

It has always been a fascination of mine to think of how Joy and Sorrow are two sides of the same coin. The idea that we cannot appreciate true joy without having sorrow to contrast with it has been a theme I've found in much literature and also explored in my own writing. I'm sure that there have been past experiences that have borne this out in my own life, but most recently, I've seen this in my feelings toward our newborn son. I have loved all of our children and delighted in their development, but there is a deep joy and delight in holding Luke. I find myself stealing moments to hold him, watch him, and just take pleasure in being his mother. There is a rightness in my soul when I am taking care of him. Perhaps, God has allowed this journey to soften and deepen my mother's soul. God's word is true when it declares that God has "turned my mourning into dancing;" and has, "loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. . . O LORD my God, I will give thanks to you forever!" Psalm 30:11-12

Saturday, January 15, 2011

A Good Morning!

While most runners are easing into their winter maintenance after a holiday break, I am just getting started. I am one week into my reentry plan. Last year at this time, I was training for the Winter Series Races and actually ran one of them, when I got a telltale sickness in my gut. I'd had that same feeling a couple of times before. I ran a handful more runs after that eight mile race then decided to take it easy. When we found out that I was indeed pregnant, the doctor suggested limiting my runs to one mile just because of my history and the lack of a diagnosis. Then, my husband who loves me and is over protective (in my book,) told me that he preferred that I not run at all. At first, that was really difficult, but it got easier. Too easy in fact, and I didn't want to run or even move for that matter. Now that our Luke is three months old, I don't have an excuse. Therefore, I am back in the saddle again. The most I have gone is 2.7 miles. Not a long way, but something. I have been somewhat consistent this week even juggling running with all my mommy jobs and the hubby's running. Yesterday, I made it a whopping 2.3 miles, but I did it outside and managed to run the entire way up the hill even without the dog towing me. When the hubby got up to run this morning, I wasn't sleeping due to a stiff back, so I decided to join him for the first mile up the hill.

The cold brightness of the stars greeted us. There were so many visible that I could barely discern Orion's belt. The stars quickly faded and were replaced with the soft gray of the dawn. I especially enjoyed seeing the shadows of the trees against the lightening skyline. What a beautiful way to begin a day and a special reminder of why I love running. It is good to be back.