To run or not to run?

I read a book review and on a whim put the book on hold at the library and forgot about it. When the kids and I picked up our twenty-five books the other day, the novel was mixed in with books about Turkey and sign language videos. Last night, I managed to finish the novel about a distance runner. It was not my usual fare, and I could have done without several parts of the book, but it got me to thinking. That and part of an article in Runner's World.

Distance running is all about pain and learning to enjoy and manage the pain. I would even go so far as to say that distance runners relish and delight in a certain amount of pain. Maybe you could say that they don't enjoy the pain for its own sake, but they love the outcomes achieved when they push through pain that their minds say that they can't survive.

I used to enjoy the pain and also the power that came from disciplining my body to do things that others thought were crazy; I remember running just for the joy of running and winning. Now running is my escape, the place I go to be myself. It is a guilty pleasure. My mind argues both for and against the merits of investing the time, the sweat equity, that are necessary to run races to win. So I continue to run and to wrestle with the place that running should have in my life. I want to be a runner once again, but fear the investment that I already know it will ask.

Reading that book made me sad. It reminded me that I was once a runner too.

The Praise of Men

My kiddos are taking swimming lessons. The lessons are proving to be a source of learning beyond how to be comfortable in the water, and the children are not the only ones learning. Getting into the car after lessons the other day, my son told me that he had asked his teacher if she was a Christian. "What did she say?" I asked. "She said that she was, and asked me if I was a Christian." My heart's response condemns me. I was afraid. I like flying under the radar, not drawing attention to myself. Now the spotlight has been focused, the microscope brought to bear. Then this morning, I read John 12:42-43 which says, "Among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest thy should be put out of the synagogue: For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God." Lord, thank you once again for using the courage of a child and the Sword of Your Spirit to get to the heart of the matter in my life. Please forgive my fear and my concern with the opinions of those who will not judge my days.