"Water!!"

I've been reading in Exodus about the people of Israel's trip through the wilderness. It struck me that when they lacked water after leaving the Red Sea they were being led by God. The writer of Exodus points out that God did not lead them through the land of the Philistines so that they wouldn't see war, be discouraged, and turn back to Egypt. That same guiding God, led them where there was no water. The God that later makes the water flow from the rocks to provide for them in the desert and Who makes bitter water sweet, tested their faith in His ability to care for them, by taking away their ability to see His provision. He withheld something that they needed to live so that they could see their need of Him. Is God withholding from me the thing that I think that I need just so that I can see that He is enough? So that I can see that He is able to provide all that I might need? Maybe it is a relationship, a baby, a routine, an answer, a job, a reassurance, a diagnosis? Maybe He is just waiting for me to rest in His sufficiency so that He can open wide the flood gates of heaven and fill my mouth with the sweetest water that I have ever tasted. Maybe He is just waiting for me to trust His loving goodness? Maybe He is waiting for me to admit that He is enough and that I don't need to claw and scratch and fret and worry to try to meet my own needs? For me it is feeling like I need to have a routine, a settledness that leads to feelings of peace. He wants to be my Peace even when all the children are upset and needing more than I can give while dinner burns and the remnants of the last meal crunch underfoot. Please, Lord, help me to let You be enough today.

Joy!

Trackless, white road. Walls of evergreens. Soft, white glitter falling from a gray sky occasionally crossed by a black bird. Hearing windsong, birds, and footfalls.

Trashed

On the way to town for the kids' basketball games on Saturday, I had too much time to think. I haven't been able to nail down my next race so my weekend long runs have been progressively getting longer without any real idea of what I'm working toward. I know that I want to run half marathons on trails with hills. Since, I've worked up to 12 miles, it seems sort of unnecessary to just keep adding miles although I do expect to run some longer runs in the next few weeks. So the idea of running harder miles presented itself. I know that I can cover 12 miles. Why not make the doing a bit more challenging? Where can I go to copy the sort of run that I would have if I were racing at Cheyenne Mountain? Well, the hill from our house is about .73 miles of not gentle uphill. What if I do twelve miles of hill repeats? Now the plans that I've looked at do include hill repeats and long runs, but usually not in the same workout. I set my sights and started out with a run up the hills with two sons, a husband, and a dog. There may have been more snowball throwing and dodging than running, but we covered the miles with a short conversation with the neighbor thrown in. The next repeat was also run with the husband and dog, and we made a bit better time, but the real work began on the third trip up the hill. The next five repeats were a test of setting my legs, arms, and lungs to a rhythm that would get me through the long miles ahead. I ran all five up hills in less than 10 minutes and all five repeats in 17 minutes or less. The last was my fastest at 15.07 for a mile and a half. I did the last one with the husband as a walking cooldown. When we got back he headed in to pick up his game with the kids, and I made supper. It wasn't until I crawled into bed that night that I noticed the aching muscles in my legs. They were trashed. I did feel like the workout was a good test of my ability to set my sights on the goal and manage my output of energy so that I could maintain my forward progress the entire time. I don't think that I've been able to do that often before especially in races, especially and not hold too much back. I'm very good at talking my self out of putting out enough at the beginning and having too much left. All in all, it was a good test. I enjoyed the challenge and had fun on the way.