Road Block

Running. I love the sore, sweating feeling after a long hard run. I love feeling like I can do somethings that other mortals see as impossible. I love feeling the cold on my face on an early morning run and watching the sun wake up the land. I love using my feet to explore. It is my quiet, my rest, my place of escape. Running is my passion, but I often allow myself to be side tracked by the warmth of my bed or the excuse that, "I am too busy." That is until, the pain in my foot says that I can not make that early morning pilgrimage or that afternoon date with the treadmill. Now that I can't run, I lament that my plan to try to run an ultra with my husband might not happen this year. Before, I made excuses not to run, now I wish that the doctor's diagnosis could be wrong. Well, at least he didn't tell me that I can't run ever again. The recovery from the surgery should only take a few months. It is shorter than it could be. I will take it and enjoy the time to focus on other things that I often overlook because I can do them. Today, I will read with my daughter, play games with and listen to my sons, smile at my husband, and cuddle my baby. There will come a day when they won't ask me to listen, to play, to read, to cuddle. I don't want to regret not taking each opportunity to love them right now. I will also take a moment to worship and praise the mighty King of Kings and Lord of Lords who will one day command all the worship and praise of all peoples. What a joy to praise out of a full heart and not one of fear!

I forgot. . .

I must add one other important first of last weekend. I forgot it because it didn't happen until Sunday. Our oldest boy took his first Lord's Supper. He had been baptized last week. In writing about his experience, he said that it made him, "feel a part." What a blessing to see a child appropriate his faith and begin to act on the things that he claims to believe. A challenge to me to live my life so that my belief is evident in my actions and not just lip service. Well, I'm off to "act" out my faith that I am a runner and put the souls of the shoes on the rubber of the mill. :)

First

Today, was the first snowfall of this winter. I love snow! I got to run my first trail run. It also happened to be my first half marathon. I've wanted to go that distance for quite some time, but this was my first opportunity. It was my first time running in Cheyenne Mountain State Park. Beautiful! Especially with the snow! Today was also, my baby boy's first birthday. Thank you, God, for the blessings that you have generously heaped on me. Thank you for the life of Luke, and all that he means to our family. Thank you for your undeserved goodness in our lives. Thank you for firsts that we can celebrate and rejoice in. Thank you for legs to run, for the beauty of your creation; thank you for your majesty, your control of all, for your perfect plan, for the ways that you care for the world that you made and the people that you put into it. Thank you for caring for me. I am humbled at your consideration of me and the things that concern me.

"I Don't Like the Sauce."

Sometimes, my children complain. Last night at dinner, my daughter expressed her opinion about the spaghetti sauce on her plate. I leaned in and taking her face in my hands, I gently reminded her of our conversation earlier in the day about how we need to be thankful for food to fill our tummies. We talked about how even food that we don't enjoy eating is better than none at all. Thinking back to her struggle with the sauce I thought about all the other food items on her plate that she really enjoyed. It was convicting to me that I can look at a "plate" full of "food" and yet complain. There are days that I wish that my plate were not as full. But when I take a step back and think of all that would have to happen for the plate to empty, I reconsider. I am humbled that My Father thinks that I can handle all that He has dished up for me. I am thankful for each hug, each "Mommy, I need. . . ," and each opportunity to create relationship with my husband and children. I am again thankful that God is willing to keep teaching me. I am thankful that He uses the little tools in His tool box. Today, I will be thankful for the things that fill my plate and consider that without them, my life would be very empty indeed.

Walls

I struggle with getting angry at my children. I think that the real root, is my own selfishness and impatience. Last year at the end of the school year, we worked on memorizing several verses about controlling our spirits. One verse talked about how an angry man is like a city without walls. We talked, of course, about how in ancient times walls were a means of protection. That Proverb then says that an angry man who isn't showing self control leaves himself open to attack. Meditating on this verse, I also remembered the Proverb that says that a wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman tears hers down with her hands. It was like I was seeing my family as a ruined city without walls. It seems as if my anger has the ability to leave my family open to the attacks of the enemy, but I can partner with God in protecting them if I submit to the Holy Spirit so that He can control my spirit and help me to be a wise woman who build up the walls of my house. I desire to be like Nehemiah and be a wall builder who is busy protecting the hearts and faiths of my precious children and husband. Lord, Please keep my tongue from evil. Help me to speak grace and kindness into the lives of my children and husband. Help me to smile at and delight in them. Please replace my sinful anger with Your joy.

Keeping them safe

So, I confess, I am obsessive compulsive. Last night, I sat down to read for twenty minutes and two and a half hours later, I finished the book and went to bed. The book was a children's historical fiction work that wasn't exceptionally well written, but it added some interesting detail to the time of the Judges in the Old Testament. Since I have just finished reading that portion of the Bible with my children, the stories are fresh in my mind. Really thought it was the repeated warnings issued in Scripture that echoed in my mind as I thought about the story this afternoon. God told Israel over and over again that they would be safe and prosper in the land if they obeyed and served only Him. Over and over again they forgot God and their promises to obey Him. The cycle of Israel's disobedience, punishment, repentance, and deliverance repeats all through the Old Testament. God warned and proved repeatedly that He would protect His people if they obeyed. In the story, the Israelite women were often captured and sold as slaves during a period of Israel's disobedience. The fathers were unable to protect their families because of their disobedience to God. It struck me that when I disobey, I am leaving my family open to the attacks of Satan. It is not just myself that is in peril. I am sacrificing my children when I seek my own way. I am putting myself in a position that makes it impossible to protect them. Is anything that I desire worth the souls of my children? Is there any sin that I wouldn't rather confess than see my children pay the price? I might say that there isn't, but do my actions line up with my words? Am I living an obedient life? One that will bring blessing to my family? Or am I living for self? Galatians 6: 7-9 were the verses that we read in family devotions tonight. Am I sowing to the flesh or to the Spirit? My reward is sure. I need to work for a harvest of righteousness.

Mercy

As a kid growing up, I learned that Christ sacrificed His life on the cross for my sins because He loves me. While it is true that Christ was motivated by love and even love for me, I have grown to understand that His primary motivation was something even more amazing. He was motivated by His love for and therefore obedience to the Father. Jesus Christ chose to lay down His life because He loves the Father and true love necessitates obedience. Christ "became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 3) Christ was willing to endure that pain of the cross because He was an obedient Son. His obedience wasn't grudging or angry; it was willing. A submission to the will of the Father that wasn't unaware of the cost, but was willing to obey for the "joy that was set before Him." (Hebrews 12:2) I am thankful for His willing obedience as it is the source of my life, my salvation from the power and penalty for my own sin. But His obedience is more, it is the example that I must follow if I am to be a "friend of God." (John 14-15) I am so far from that place of willing, happy obedience. I want my way. I want what pleases my flesh. I desire my comfort, my happiness at the expense of those that I love and even at the expense of obeying my Father. So, I come again and remember His happy obedience, His quiet answers to Pilate, and I am encouraged to let go, to say, "Mercy" and submit to the will of the Father, and to give up my hold on my desires and let Him be God.

Thank you, LORD, for Your example and Your mercy that keeps teaching the lessons that I struggle to learn. Thank you for a day set aside to remember Your victory won through submission.